The Patient's Wife

Everything is a blur at the moment and I can't recall events or reasons why things that should have happened didn't. Since our return from the Austin, the patient has gone downhill rapidly. At our last scan at the LGH is was revealed that the patient has a fractured lower vertebrae as a tumour was putting pressure on his spine (as well as years of cortisone). Immediately from the xray dept he was wheeled down to the oncologist for immediate assessment. He was very nice, the oncologist. I got lots of medication to take home with the patient, and a wheelchair. So on the afternoon before he was to start chemo, I had to phone and say that I couldn't get him there because the patient's mobility has suffered. The ambulance transport picked him up the next afternoon and he was admitted to hospital.



He is still there now. He has had 10 zaps of radiation to ease the back pain and to try and shrink the tumour, otherwise the Patient dearest would end up a paraplegic. Sadly he has lost a lot of muscle tone in his legs and has to learn to walk with a frame with two physios by his side.

The radiation treatment has finished now, and as far as I know, the patient is supposed to come home for a rest before chemo.



I had a heart to heart with the social worker and palliative care dr (aka the pain dr) this week and my intuition was right. The next morning I had to be at the hospital early to meet with the pain dr and the patient and it was all revealed. It is not an easy thing to go through and all the info a bit much to digest.



This afternoon the OT came to visit and talked about the equipment we may need when the patient comes home.



When I got home ..... tears, just all tears. Sometimes its ok not to feel brave.